The Contradiction

I met a man and I thought that he was something short of perfect, but he was a perfect asshole.  I let my love blind me...it muffled my ability to think clearly about his intention.  Although he was a perfect gentlemen and he loved me for the time being, he never knew how to respect me.  He never understood that respect was so very critical to relational success.  He thought I would lie to him, but he would lie to me.  He felt that it was ok to love me today and fuck her tomorrow, but he loved me and "respected me".  Do you see the contradiction?

Kept me
Fighting the urge to walk away
But my heart was clearer than my mind
It outweighed my ability to see
I couldn't accept that love passed me by
I wanted you more
Than anything and I couldn't help
Loving you in spite of
The contradiction
Lack of respect
I missed your presence
The man I fell in love with
The heart I saw in your eyes
The soul I bathe with
I couldn't understand why
You played on my emotion
For your own selfish reasons
Neglected my passion
Accepted my lust
And pushed away my heart
Saw the tears and you ran
But you felt love
The contradiction

The Unexpected

You remind me of that song I had not heard in years
Bring back smiles
And laughs that lighten my heart to tears

You
So unexpectedly sought the introduction
And after intention emerged
And sincerity was made clear
I was enticed

More and more
I craved you
Secretly longed for more contact
Wanting your interest to match mine

Even now
The irony intrigues me
No physical contact
But the desire does not fade
Intensity is great
And I cant wait for the first date

Even more now
You turned out to be
The one that showers me with peace
Brought by the presence of true adoration
And loyalty

I hope nothing will change
Always as new to us as school was to you
Before the grades turned to numbers

No amount of miles will diminish
The way my soul breathes you in
Harmony
The way we gel
I am so open to you

And we
Now only in the beginning stages
But these are moments
To fill time capsules
Because even if "Friend" is as far as we get
Your footprint leaves a stamp on my life
I will never forget

MAMA

My mother is a very courageous woman.  There were so many times I was selfish or couldn't understand why she had certain feelings or the times I thought she said no for no reason, I get that now.  I love her for my life and for shaping me into the women she always knew I could be.  To make her happy is my life long dream and with every one of my accomplishments it becomes reality.  Her smile is my motivation to be a BETTER me.  So, with that I dedicate this poem to my mother. 

Mama
I noticed
I saw how hard it was
But you wanted better
You never gave up
When child support wasn't enough
Put us to bed
And went on to the next job

I knew how much courage it took
To shake the tears
Had to say no dreams
To feed the needs
All those things we couldn't afford
But we never went hungry
Did't get it then
But now it's understood
I couldn't see
The fight
The drive
But yet
It rubbed off on me
And
I want you to know
I love the woman who would sale her soul
To give her children everything
Didn't stop until we no longer had to eat bologna
Homemade school uniforms
Hand me downs
Everything
Never ending love
Undying grace
Inexplicable faith
I love you Mama
Thank you for sacrifyicing
So that I could enjoy the finer things

Although it took years
We can now reflect
Look at your life
And your children's success

We are
The epitome of you
Your hardwork
Dedication
Courage
And pride was few
Because when it came down to it
You did all you could do
And I thank you
Mama
I love you