Breaking Me Down...

So I once wrote about a love that I longed for, one that I thought would stand the test of time and now I am here writing about another love that is breaking me down. Not in a bad way, but in a way that makes me view love in a totally different perspective. I appreciate clarity. No matter what form it comes in.

Just because I'm over you
Doesn't mean he's right for me
I fought hard to make sure
If its love
It would never again pass me
And this time was no exception
I must learn a valuable lesson
I must leave my pride
I must stray away from stubbornness
I must increase communication
I have to create you a space
Not a crevice to seep in
When I least expected
I had to open the door
And give you the key
But
Fear emerges
The foundation of the barriers I created
And now back at square one
No love
No lessons learned
I give it another shot
This time it's right
But I lose sight
And loves not alike
No where to turn
Surrounded with fear
Holding hands with pride
In the arms of stubbornness
With no love by my side...

Love Lessons...

As most of you may know I have successfully completed and published my first fiction novel Southern Belles and now I am working on my other baby, The Love Trials.  The Love Trials is a literary work that I have yet to officially classify, but The Love Trials talks about the different lessons in love that I feel that we must experience in order to truly understand the idea of love and being in love so that we can truly identify the mate for our soul (soul mate) and love unselfishly through a healthy love.

As I writing this post came to mind because for many years I thought that I found my soul mate.  Even when I started writing this book, which initiated as a blog post, I just thought I knew which one of my previous relationships identified with each love lesson.  But now that I am in another relationship, after some time, I am starting to realize that I was all wrong.   Because I wish not to make anyone who is reading this post uncomfortable, or since I wish not for individuals to try and decipher who I am speaking about I will speak in broad terms.  But now I realized that my perception of the first love and my heart breaker and test were incorrect.  So far I have determined that I have confused the Heart Breaker and The Test.  My test was yet to be experienced.  My heart breaker brought on heart ache larger than I could ever express through words.  Not much to my surprise either.  I always knew they were a lesson and I don't mind that I was wrong in my initial assessment.  But as I have realized the error in my ways I can move forward in life and anticipate love with new eyes.  

With that being said I, in my work, will continue to express my feelings on love and each lesson, and the impact that my own love lessons had on my life.  I look forward to the soul mate.  One thing that I knew then that still remains true today is that in love, one individual can encompasses each lesson of love, or they can be evenly distributed with a different love for each lesson; but either way, I believe with all sincerity that each love must be encountered before you truly love unselfishly through a healthy love.  That is the ultimate objective.