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Saturday, June 16, 2012

Father's Day! TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

So in essence of the holiday or shall I say day of recognition, I decided to just give you all some truth.  MY TRUTH.  So here goes...

I haven't talked to my father in over four years.  Not only that, in the years prior, to the last four of course, I tried my hardest to break all communication barriers and be the bridge between our divided family.  By divided I mean the separation between his relationship with all four (possibly five) of my father's children.  He has two from my mother and two from his current wife.  The fifth, well would actually be the first but I just recently found out about him and I can't really be too sure of his whereabouts, but I will say I have always wanted an older brother.  Turns out I have one that I don't know.  Well as far as I am aware anyway.

My Father wasn't always absent.  He used to be a very active parent, when I was a child.  It wasn't until we turned 18 that he dropped us and said "Good luck with the rest of your lives, I'm done!"  Of course that is my interpretation but it felt just like that actually.  I can still remember all the shopping sprees and video games, quality time, etc. with my Dad as a child.   It was lovely.  However now, I can only imagine what he is doing and how he has been.  Bothers me not actually but this is a time of year that I always seem to by pass without much thought.  Since I am doing the Truth Speak Series on my blog I figured I would just jot down my thoughts.

I am 27 going on 28 years old this year.  That means that it has literally been about 10 years since my father took the backseat in my life.  And I really shouldn't even say backseat because that is still pretty close.  I mean there is no communication what so ever.  It is crazy because I am sure he Googles me  and keeps up with my work and my websites, etc.  At this point in my life I find that his support, especially for such a very creative individual, is important.  Or should I say would be very important.

I am reflecting today on the years as a child I spent time with my father that were good.  I want to say Happy Father's Day to all of the men that have made an impact on my life, including my father.  Where ever he is at this point.  For what it's worth I don't hold grudges with any man on this earth.  I will never shy away from the truth.  My life is not perfect and it doesn't mean that it would be any better if he was present.  But I will say that his absence has made me a lot stronger than I could have ever imagined.  So for what it's worth, I will thank you for that.


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