The Present

So
I thought that it would die
All this
I
Surrounded with no one but self
And my mind defines this as peace
But truthfully
My heart stirs
Uncontrollably
And I can not direct my hearts call for company
It
My soul
Still longs for him to be
In my world
But he seeks the not
He diverts from the possibility
No matter how often it presents itself
He acknowledges not
I don't wait
But I hate how it feels
Giving his time away
Trying to play myself
I don't really want them
But
I can't have him
This love shit
I pass on it
So
I repeat the nights I laid by his side
In my mind
With no hope to find the past
And with passion to drive out
The present