Untitled

The possibilities are infinite
My insecurities fear it
I want you more than I have ever wanted anything
But
If I let down my guard I risk shame

Love has so many expectations
So many rules and regulations
And we don't meet the norm

I could say that it is traditional
But we are so unconventional
And no one understands it
We
Breaking all the rules
Fear the reprecaussions
But when it is pure and true
You can't deny it
I want you

There is nothing better
We make time to be there
You long to rest here
In between my breast
And I find peace
In your lips as the press against
The temple
With all sincerety
You make it harder to rid myself of you
You want it as much as I do

You make it easy
Time makes it impossible
Can we live with this?
I feel God ordained it
But will we be able to sustain

I long to hear your name
And you envision my frame
In future years
All of the signs are here

So
Allow souls to dictate
Or
Fall victim to unconventional mandates?
Heartbreak is at stake
What path should we take?

Brand new...

I am feeling like fresh white sneaks
Leaving squeaks until they get use to the crease
I am
Giving you the feeling of first time excitement
I am so speechless
Silence speaks

You got me, feeling love in undefined places
Its like the brand new feelings
As we share butterfly kisses
Leaving the taste of love
Creeping up in the stranges places
And I need to grasp it
The love handle that tickles
The smiles that teases
And then its time to release

Those new sheets have to get old sometime
That clean car gets duty afterwhile
And that shine goes dull in the meantime
But
Everytime our eyes meet
Our souls speak
And it feels like the very first time
And I get weak
In all the undefined places
I get
Brand new feelings
And the cycle is never ending

I Want To Empty It...

I am going through the motions because everyday feels like the day something great is going to happen.  I am living everyday with the same passion and drive I had for the day before.  I love knowing that I get one more chance to make this blog more interesting, to add more chapters to my novel, work in progress, to add more depth to my life, to add more color to my story. 

My mental journal is full so I try to empty it every now and then.  Either on this blog or on the pages of the lines that contribute to my life story.  And it doesn't matter if it is in verse, stanzas or phrases and paragraphs; it's all the same. 

So
I want to empty it today
Clear my head
I need new brain space
New open place
For it to form
I want to bless this page with text that creates
And contributes to
My memory

I want to free myself of past relations
Free my mind of hesistation
To allow greatness unfold
I want to free myself from the strong hold of perfection
Not to escape it though
As a Virgo I am destined

I want to make the time here infinitive
I want to add color here through experience
Experimenting with opposition
Learning from doing what I shouldn't
Provides me with more to write

I tell all as I let him in
I wrote my love letter to passion
And he fell through the crack
Broke down the wall from the outside in
He is so strong
So much courage he holds
And I am more in love

As the days turn
I learn
I crave nights of thoughts
Days of hugs
And afternoon love
He gives me
All that I can not write
All the emotion I tell not
I keep secrets now that he is here
He holds my truth
And he holds it well
Right in arch of his back
The touch of his hand
The smiles not fought back
The heart left hurt
But I mend that
In the way the man speaks my name
He holds no shame in knowing
He knows all
In all that the man is
He holds me down

There is no amount of fame
Nor money the same
Can measure up

He is truth
He is my secret to
Life
And I want to empty it
May it touch you

Something New

Like 15 year olds we
Pursue late nights
Heart to ear conversations
All with hope
Hope that it lasts forever

No spats
All in agreeance
For the moment we
Appreciate the likeness
For it will end soon
The smiles will merge into frowns as we find
We are not
Perfection is a distant memory
Love not lost
But hurt in the eyes
Lost
Because we got caught up in the begining stages
We neglected the signs
Signs that the intensity of the ride will cease
Signs that direct our minds to prepare our hearts for now

We neglected to accept truth
So now we seek
Something new

Secrets

Just like white lies


They surface

And once in awhile

They are mine



I try to control them

Deep within

That which you do not need to know

For what

To use against me

To manipulate me

In case you are unaware

There are no puppets here

No strings tied to my back

I talk on my own here

This life I live

I drive alone

So I keep secrets

To keep you close

And him closer



She who scowled at my rings

The designer brands

And finer things

Kiss my ass

It's free

They come and go

Just like air

Like life

And the lies you keep in circulation

You won't get ahold to these

Secrets



They encompass my pride

The success that I hide

Modesty

It's attractive

I

Humble

Every moment is precious



To know all

Is to know to much

Human is greed

We don't need that much

Redirect your focus

Steer clear of me

Don't be road blocks

Encounter clarity

Everything is short

Even memory

Passion

Missing now
The way you kissed the soul
How unexpectedley you broke the mold
Missing now the sound of pen strokes
Crumpled sheets
And creases
As the page turns
My absence from you drives me crazy
He moves me
But you inspire

Can not recall all the countless hours
The support
For all the tears that stained
Have you really gained
Not I
Still get butterflies
Eye smiles
Curled toes
The passion unfolds
As the pages divide

Wanting more now
Clean sheets
Soft skin
The sound it makes when they meet
Purity

You long to meet me there
In between the....

Destined for....
That's it
Happiness

Untitled

He brings me peace
And I like that I keep him intrigued

He wants to learn me
I honor that
He longs to comfort me
I take pride in that

His voice calms
His eyes sooth
His motive
She
The depth too
Which all is great
No one can explain
She leaves them speechless
The effect
To good
So
I make due
Trying to extinguish the fire
Although it gets hard to devour
Everything but the external power
So
They should meet
Some day and greet
No sooner than date three
To
Turn all not said into
Undeniable passion
And this is the foundation of love
Old fashion
Pure intention
Gravitation
Two souls
Now one
And the story unfolds

To be continued...

Explain this...

So
Explain this...
Why do my feet call to my calves
Who speak to my thighs
And they
Enlivened her
She awakened my soul
Which sent rapid beats to my heart
I am up now
Loving more than ever now
But where is he?
I secretly hoped
He craved my caress
As I gently grazed my finger tips up and down his back
I comforted him
And he would rise
With just on look in my eyes
He wanted me
More than ever now
Yet
It's
Nothing like anything we had ever experienced

Now
We are two
Trying to decider the difference between fear and foolishness
We love just the same
Our hearts call to one another
In the same way
And
That explains
Why you still sneak touches
Why you gaze in amazement
Why you still do what I love
And
Why you feel like this is "home"
But this explains
Why my love never dies
Why I long to be by your side
Why my heart beat increases
If I am at all sure you are near
Why I can't believe this shit still happens after 2 years
After all the shit you put me through
After all the shit I did to you
I knew I would loose
But it doesn't feel like it
That is why
You still can't find reason
To find "the one" more than once in your life
I am still
And always will be
Can you explain to me why you run from it?
Unconventional I hope has nothing to do with it...

The Present

So
I thought that it would die
All this
I
Surrounded with no one but self
And my mind defines this as peace
But truthfully
My heart stirs
Uncontrollably
And I can not direct my hearts call for company
It
My soul
Still longs for him to be
In my world
But he seeks the not
He diverts from the possibility
No matter how often it presents itself
He acknowledges not
I don't wait
But I hate how it feels
Giving his time away
Trying to play myself
I don't really want them
But
I can't have him
This love shit
I pass on it
So
I repeat the nights I laid by his side
In my mind
With no hope to find the past
And with passion to drive out
The present

Life Experiences

So you know today I am so much better than yesterday.  I can see so much clearer, I have learned so much more and so many doors have opened.  You honestly never know who is watching you, who admires you, who adores you, so you always want to keep your best foot forward. 

You know I really try to uphold my christian values and moral.  I live life with NO FEAR, for the only person I fear always works in my favor. 

I have been asked to be a guest on a Houston taped television show.  It may be small but I see the dream and I applaud the goal.  In this day in age it is always about who you know and not what you know.  I know enough people that if I wanted to be on the first track to stardum I probably could, but then what would be the life experience?  I would definitely miss out.  I want to live, I need that.  I want to learn, because I am better with that. 

Over the past ten years I have grown so much.   Although I am a woman of many talents I use each one to get me to where I want to be.   This year really has been an awesome year for me.  Two meaningful blogs that I hope speak to you in more ways that one.  Two published books (poetry collages www.lulu.com/audreyannagarrett) which released the past so that I can move forward!  Love that.  I have established a graphic design company, Features Editor for Teen Chic Magazine (http://www.teenchicmag.com/) and I have done all of this while pursuing a MBA and maintaing a career!  I would say that I am bad ass, and since I hardly ever take a moment to reflect on my achievements, I pause..............

I really hope that you all walk with me in 2010, because it will be a phenomenal year.  I can not wait to see what GOD has in store for me.  I am living life one day at a time and learning all the while. 

2010 HERE I (WE) COME...


One Love