Learning VS Memorizing: TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

I can't understand those who confuse attendance in church with a relationship with God. It is the same as confusing memorization with learning. Memorizing biblical scriptures doesn't mean that you have learned and/or are applying the scripture to your life. So just because you attend church, doesn't mean you have a relationship with God. Stop beating people over the head with scripture when you don't even apply it to your own life! I know I have said this before (in a different way) but I continue to see it on my timeline, or when I tell people the last time I went to church they look at me like I should be behind bars! But you have more faith in your preacher or "people" than you do in God. I not now nor will I ever take credit for my stregnth. I am strong because my faith is strong, therefore I can do all things! Battles are a test of that faith. I have never lost a battle nor have I fell victim to something I know is not of God.

In case you were wondering, I grew up in church. From my attendance I gained the tools I needed to establish my OWN relationship with GOD. And I did just that. I will never allude to being anything I am not. And I walk in MY PURPOSE everyday. Everyone has a different purpose and walk in this life, so stop assuming if someone else's actions don't match your own or what you "think" it should be that it is NOT RIGHT.  You are NOT RIGHT for focusing on anything else but YOURSELF.  Be accountable for you and no one else. Love your neighbor like you love social media. Stop hating on and antagonizing people and be motivated to support and love like you "get money". Check your focus! Because all of those who really want to affect change start with themselves! Be the example not just a critic.  

Someone can be categorized as ignorant but taught to read and write; at that point they are no longer ignorant. To often we validate stereotypes but hate to be stereotyped. Stop desiring to "look" better instead of actually "being" better. Learn to make a change instead of memorizing/mimicking behavior that makes you "look" the part.

Gettin' Money.... TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

The motivation of just about every one seems to be that of "gettin' money"; a phrase that has been in circulation for as long I can remember.  Hearing the phrase as an adult I begin noticing that everyone was actualizing its intent.  And I shuttered to believe the idea that money would be the sole motivation for so many.

In life, especially when we have less, we don't realize that money does NOT equate to happiness.  While it makes some circumstances bearable or better it does not and will never equate to happiness.  I hear people mock this notion all the time.  Because their thoughts have not evolved, they are stuck on the idea of what we believe money represents and not what the money isn't capable of doing.  Not realizing that just because money eases stress and redirects focus it doesn't mean your happy, just means that now your focused on something else.  And this is why I find a lot of people "with money" or "gettin" money" hardly sustain wealth.  Their focus is on short term goals or gain or status versus actual wealth.  You can see the difference in those motivated by money vs those motivated by success.  Most people who are motivated by success, consider wealth.  They explore the immediate and long term goals of money.  Yet, it seems that for most the concern is more of the illusion of money and status.  For example, think about all those people in clubs popping bottles and their rent is not yet paid.  OR those buying luxury/designer bags, purses, etc. and children have not been fed or they live in poverty.  Or even those who drive luxury vehicles and but working at a job making at or less than 50K per year, with $2 in the bank!  But if you see them out you would think they had it all together, when in fact THEY DO NOT.  They are more concerned with what they look like, than what they actually have.  There is a sense of pride they are in search of and/or a sense of validation from people they don't know.

In recent news, Soulja Boy has been highlighted as repeatedly saying he is worth 20 or so million and is worried about gettin' money, but he comments that he doesn't "brag" about what he has.  Hearing this I asked myself why is money that much of a concern.  As someone who grew up with what I like to call the "best of both worlds", spending much of my childhood and pre-teen in mid to lower class and my teen and adult years in mid-high class, I saw what life was like with barely enough and with more than enough resources to sustain.  When you grow up "without" or "disadvantaged", when you have an opportunity to have a different life or a "better" life, your idea of better is more or less everything you did not have.  Which is not always best.  Spending all your money on clothes just because "you can" is poor logic.  It seems to be the logic of more African Americans, and what I believe will ultimately be our demise.

Have you ever paid attention to the fact that most CEOs, doctors, lawyers or executives drive cash cars every day, wear regular clothes, etc. and are virtually undetectable as someone "wealthy" or "rich"?  Meanwhile, people with $2 in the bank or living paycheck to paycheck, look like they have millions.  Ironic right?  I would say so. Wealth is maintained by frugality, investing vs spending and giving.   Money should be a benefit not motivation.  You would think that those who never had money would be more careful and appreciate it more, because just as fast as it comes, it goes, but that's most often NOT the case.  Money fuels selfishness.  Selfish people are never satisfied or happy.  They always want more.

When I think about happiness and motivation, I asked myself a question, "Would you rather be happy/peace of mind and broke or rich and unhappy/not a peace?".  For me the answer is simple, I would rather be happy, with a peace of mind and broke, than rich and unhappy. Peace and happiness are my motivation, in everything that I do, I seek peace. Nothing is better than a peace of mind to me. And true happiness can't be bought.  I see unhappiness every day, in people who try to "reinvent" themselves for acceptance with plastic surgeries.  When you are focused and motivated by the wrong things it's hard to appreciate little things.  That is why you see people who are stripped of their possessions/money who kill themselves.   Those can't see the value in life without money!  That is what happens when your motivated by money.  You can't appreciate life.  Money should never be motivation, but a benefit in life.  People who are motivated by money have deeper rooted fears, issues, etc.  Those fears allow them to be motivated by money, but until they are able to address those fears and learn to appreciate life, they will understand how to live in this world.  They will merely EXIST in it.

What happened to the Innocent?... TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

I fear that children are being robbed of their innocence everyday, so I seek to explore explanations that could explain the why and maybe encourage change.

Everyday our children are playing reckless video games, flipping through channels and catching glimpses of or watching light pornography (on commercials and television shows) and/or overhearing adult conversations; yet, we expect that they are "unaware" or "don't know" anything!  Yet, we don't realize that we are implanting questions for children to seek answers to.  So children Goggle searches encompass looking for answers to things that we have shown them, but that we dare not explain because we feel like they are "unaware" or "it isn't time" for them to know.   So the question then becomes why are we so unaware of the fact that we are robbing them of their innocence by assuming we can show them things and not explain?

Is it that we are so disconnected, allowing our children to be raised by television or the internet, that we don't realize that keeping them innocent means moderating what they absorb.  Being aware of what we put in their faces.  Being mindful and open to moderating the answers to the questions in their minds.  Not occupying them with trash so that we can get some "free time"!  Unfortunately we assume that when we give children an iPad, laptop or iPhone that they will not explore it.  These devices come with parental controls for a reason.  We have to stop assuming our children won't find the answers we won't give them.

When something new is brought to our attention most often we seek to gain greater understanding.   As parents, we can not assume that our children will remain innocent even when being presented with  new questions and tools to help research those questions.  Parents seem to be less involved, or unconcerned, meaning children turn to the internet and television for answers.  When they see or hear the word kiss, the children of this generation will naturally "Google" it to figure out what it is.  Just think of how many questions our children encounter each day, with consideration to the total number of hours children, nieces, nephews or grandchildren watch television or surf the web.  Consider the notion that if your not answering those questions, who is?

Times have truly changed.  I remember as a child I spent my time playing games outside, swimming, roller skating, playing tennis or watching movies (approved and purchased by my parents).  I got electronics at the age of 11 or 12 but before that, I was more active than not.  I truly had no questions regarding sex until I was exposed to it.  I had no questions regarding sexuality because I was never confronted with it.  Now I was also an explorer and an inquisitive child.  But most of the time I spent taking things apart, trying to figure out what's inside, or how it works. Surprising that I wasn't an Engineer because that is what intrigued me most.  But I also didn't have the world wide web readily available at that time.  And I'm certain most of these children wouldn't know how to find their way around a library if you held their hand.  Or do any type of "real research" that doesn't involve a computer.

When we know all of this, the question becomes why are we ignoring it.  Why are we allowing ourselves to operate under the notion that we are NOT to blame for the lack of innocence in our children?  We can't place blame on one individual, as it has to be a collective change.  Even though my parents tried hard to preserve my innocence there were certain things I was exposed to, too early that were imposed on me.  As a child I mimicked what I was told or shown; and unfortunately that is a part of my past that I can not erase.  But I have made a decision to accept my circumstances and try to break the chains of miseducation and individuals exposing children to things too soon.

Hood Love... TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

A little short story to help illustrate the idea behind this post's message.

He stood out on the corner from 4 pm until 6 am everyday.  He attended to his block.  He made sure no one interrupted his business.  He was the man for 14 hours.  The hood feared him for 14 hours.  His feens worshipped him for 14 hours.  His competitors hated him for 14 hours.  He stood on guard for 14 hours.  Minding his business but watching his back, alone.  Had more than he needed, but greed fed his determination.  So day in and day out, he found what he thought was love in a hopeless place.  He found levels to life in a new space.  He lost himself a little bit every day.  Because he didn't know what he was searching for in the first place... 

by: AudriWrites

*****

Hood love is what it implies, love obtained from the hood.  Love itself is such a powerful emotion that it builds bonds that can withstand a lifetime.  Bonds like no other.  When you grow up disadvantaged or lacking love, you tend to flock to whatever makes you feel like it loves you in return.  Even when you don't even know what "love" is.  Without knowledge of what "love is" it is easily misinterpreted and misappropriated.

Men, women and children who live and die for or in the streets of his/her hood, do so because that is the only place they ever felt what they perceived to be love.  But what type of love is it that they think they've gained?  When your naive you think that your "brothers" and "sisters" who understand what you lack, know how to love you.  How could they possibly know how to love you, when they have never been loved and/or don't understand what love is?  One must be able to understand it, in order to recognize it.  If you truly understood what love was, you would know that "hood love" is selfish love.  Hood love looks out for your best interest, only when your best interest coincides with it's own.    So who is really looking out for you?

Love, I have defined several times, but, in short it is an unconditional gesture of faith, adoration, honesty and humility that brings peace.  Anything that requires you to be unsettled (continuously on guard), unsafe or idolized possesses no love.  Love doesn't allow you to play on the weak for personal gain.  If you loved your hood, you wouldn't contribute to its demise.  If you loved your hood you would not place the crack, in the mouths of the people who you "love" or who "love" you.  You wouldn't stifle your community.  If you knew what love was you would not allow yourself to turn the other cheek or to be so gullible.  So blinded by the what's right in front of you.  You wouldn't ignore your moral compass and you would do "right" and seek to understand love.

So, now that you understand that "hood love" is a term that is conveniently used to describe individuals who have lost their way.  Individuals who do not claim ownership of their contribution in the demise of their people.  And individuals who seek personal gain at all costs.   You know now that the hood never loved you.  That is an irrational thought implanted by more of those who misunderstand, misinterpret and misappropriate love.   So, I encourage you to be the change.  Stand for the community.  Learn to love the way love was meant to be, unselfishly.

History Pt. 2 Racism & the "Right Now"

I want to make sure I acknowledge those who take activism seriously.  I always appreciate passionate individuals who live fighting for what they believe the world should be.  I often wonder because most activist focus on things they want to change, if they get caught up in all that is wrong and have a hard time acknowledging how far we have come?  I don't believe acknowledging progress takes away from the cause, but I think acknowledging progress allows you to be able to take pride in the impact of your work.  I see stories every day of people doing great things for other people (regardless of race), but sometimes we get caught in generalizing behavior that it forces us to look at the world in the wrong way.

So ask yourself the following question: Is every "white" person in the US racist?

For me it is all about perception.  We are individuals.  PERIOD.  We generalize behavior but we can not say with extreme certainty that everyone of a certain race is racist.   My ancestors paved the way for forward thinking, acceptance and love in spite of transgression and discrimination and  showed unbreakable strength, courage and determination.  White ancestors proved to be an example of what NOT to believe or how not to treat others in the name of God.   Essentially lessons of what NOT to do.  While my ancestors were an example of who to be in spite of oppression.  I walk proud knowing how far we have come.  I am sure some of my "white" peers do the same.  Those who have no motivation to hate or oppress because of the simple fact that it is morally wrong.  I walk around assuming everyone is good, until they prove otherwise.  Call me naive all day, but I don't believe in assuming the worst of people until they do something to make believe otherwise or discernment kicks in.  I do believe that some people get so focused on their goal and the passion of fighting for injustice, that its quite often all they see.  And unfortunately negative views are often misconstrued.

There have been several incidents in the news publicized to get us focused on the abuse of power of police officers.  And I am one who believes there are definitely issues with officers abuse of power, my concern, however, is that officers' abuse of power has been going on for years, yet we are seeking justice for it now...  What happened to all the other individuals who died at the hands of injustice that were not publicized for us?  What happened to all of those who died at the hands of unjust law/officers right in front of us?  We are active now though...  We are pro CHANGE now, but what's the motivation?  Is it really that we have had enough?  If that is the case shouldn't we have had enough of killing one another?

CHANGE and FIGHT should have started from the beginning.  No one ever deserves to die unjustly.  Had we been actively watching these stories in the media, gathering data by tracking the statistics and taking action by advocating for all families involved and/or using each situations as a foundation of change (one state at a time), we would be more optimistic.  The future wouldn't seem so dim.

While I advocate for the families of those individuals we have loss due to this type of violence and I support the movement of "all lives" matter (which encompasses "black lives"), I can not understand why all of a sudden the news decision to feature repeatedly feature these stories acts as a motivator.  We should have already been motivated to take action/take a stand on this issue.  While it can be argued that the media may have had it's own agenda, I would like to think they were trying to get an organic view of the true frustration of the families and people impacted by injustice.

So when all is said and done and (thinking forward) when action is taken to revamp the assessment of officers and deputies of the law, what next issue will we be presented?  What other "right now" cause will gain our interest?  Will racism still be as prominent?  Nothing is certain, but I do believe that if we gave self-awareness and accountability the same consideration, attention and action as we do these "right now" causes, the world just may be a better place.

The Miseducation of America

Million dollar question:  Why is it that most schools are ranking students abilities by assessment tests that are composed with one particular ideal student (for a particular grade) in mind, when children in schools learn on different levels?  I find it incredibly odd that the same schools that I once learned in, are now not so focused on the education of its students, but more so the student's ability to test.

I remember when I was a student (and this was as early as Kindergarten for me) that I was identified as a "Gifted and Talented" student (not sure what they are calling it now a days).  Because teachers were able to identify me as a student, who was quite frankly learning at a faster level than most students, they were similarly able to identify students learning a level below average.  At that time teachers had children learning at three different levels.  I remember as a child that I had taken two tests, one the same as the test all students took, and another to identify the scholastic aptitude of students learning at a higher level.  It seemed fair in my opinion.  Although I did meet and exceed the expectations of learning, I did not feel that my education was stifled nor was that of any of my classmates.  I say that because teachers then managed to teach students on varying levels and help them achieve or exceed the scholastic goal of the school they attended.

Fast forward to present day...I believe (and based on first hand testimonies from educators I know) that schools are currently teaching students a test and it has no true educational value.  I believe this to be true because one of the first things I learned in my Masters of Psychology program is that there is a great difference between memorization and learning.  Learning is the ability to take information and regurgitate it in a way that is applicable to his/her own life, or make it relatable; that which signifies understanding.  Memorizing is simply that, relying on the function of one's memory to recall information...not actually learning the information.  Unfortunately we are forcing our children to memorize instead of learn.

Something else to note is the lack of parent involvement in his/her child's education, and the teachers lack of passion for teaching.  There are several reasons I could provide that would explain the lack of moral amongst teachers, but quite frankly not too much I can say regarding lack of parent involvement in his/her child's educational success.   The more you see things like this happening, the more you wish we stopped arguing about women's right to choose (regarding abortion).  Totally different subject for another time, but I say that to get you to think about how important it is for a parent to desire and love his/her child.  And most of our children in schools lack that love.  Our students are mistreated, not loved and miseducated.  And the more I live, the more I see their education is not being valued.

There once was a point at which educaction was your resume, now I understand why employers are seeking more "hands on experience" to signify learning.  The amount of technology consumed by the current generation far outweighs the number of library cards or physical research encountered at any level prior to a collegiate level.  Middle & high school instructors are allowing students to research on computers before teaching them to research in a library, like it once was.  The library is now a "backup" or a go to for those students who do not have the capacity to access the internet.

Unfortunately I could be on this soap box for months, but I will leave you with this...the perception of education has ultimately been reduced.   Consider where education stood and what education has evolved to...Until it is valued in the eyes of the STATE, we will remain, and the future of our children's education will ultimately be in our hands.

Beauty Overrated...

"I think beauty's overrated.  Cause that's something anyone can be. Attraction, now thats something different..." - R Glasper Project

I heard this phrase in the song and immediately it spoke to me.  I got it.  I understood the difference between beauty and attraction.  I knew what attraction felt like.  I know its hard to articulate differences between things that you experienced emotionally, that you know to be all to real to you.  Your truly at a loss of words.  I am in that space here.  I want to share with you what this means and how it feels, but there currently is no best way for me to get you to comprehend the difference if you had not experienced it already.  But, I will try my best.

I've been fortunate to be both beautiful and attractive to a few men, and I promise you there is a difference between superficial and real love.  Beauty and attraction symbolize that to me.  Beauty is on the surface, but attraction to another individual is based off organic chemistry that goes past a pretty/handsome face.  You can't manufacture that...its natural.

When we focus more on what people look like, we neglect our ability to become more attractive.  We don't allow ourselves to open up, and we remain stuck in the space that is not of equal distance between the mind and the heart.  An equal space between the mind and heart suggest that we are capable of making decisions with equitable amounts of emotional and rational consideration.  If you are stuck totally in your mind in a relationship, thinking only of what he/she looks like, what kind of car he/she drives, what he/she will become, etc., we don't allow ourselves the ability to grow with one another.  We don't allow ourselves to become attractive to one another.  We keep our minds focused so much on the superficial, that we neglect the ability to establish any true connection.  We lose our ability to be rational.  We are "stuck on stupid" as the colloquialism expresses.  Similarly if we are stuck in the heart, we are too emotional and make decisions based solely on how something feels.  This is considered irrational as well.

For me personally, in essence, when someone generally appreciates you, and looks to spend any ounce of free time exploring every part of you, in order to learn more about you, THATS ATTRACTION.  When the depths of your conversations take you places you have never been or explored in your life, THATS ATTRACTION.  When they can look at you at your weakest or most physically attractive point and still see beauty in you, THATS ATTRACTION.  Its deep but that's when you know someone really SEES you for who you are.

History Pt.1 -Racism & the "Right Now"

I spent my early years trying to find my purpose as most.  I wanted to know what my place was on this earth.  I wanted to determine how I would impact the individuals I came in contract with.  I wanted to know how I could make the world better.  As a child my world view was distorted.  My perception of life was what was provided to me via cultural norms, history lessons and the state of the current economy.  And although as a student I had no interest in history, that never meant I didn't pay attention to it.  How I wanted to view the world never depended on what was, for me it was always about what is and what will be.  I hoped to impact what will be.

As an adult I shifted my view, not only was my perception formed by my cultural norms, religious beliefs, moral, values, etc., but my perception of the world is too heavily impacted by how others see it.  Because I believe in order for me to impact change appropriately I have to understand how and why the world is viewed as it is.  After spending sometime in another country I came to find that the world is as great or as miserable as we see it.  While living overseas I spent time in a country which is not as  "racially specific/classified" as the US.  The first thing I appreciated was that I was labeled an American, not African-American.  For as long as I can remember I was born in America, with decent of African heritage but so far removed (well over 6 generations) that I saw myself as more of an American than anything.  Now that is not to say that I did not want to learn about or disown my roots, that is not what I am saying at all, but I am an American right?  I always questioned why classification had to be further specified in the US. I found that in the US we subcategorize ourselves until we cannot anymore.  Whether race, socioeconomic class, religion etc.  While I understand the statistical need for this, I do believe that this further perpetuates the idea of racism.

As a child I learned of racism, as an African American youth I watched Roots (and other movies amongst reading and researching the history of slavery and injustice), and I understood the severity of how it was to live during that time.  I admire my ancestors and predecessors for their courage and strength during those times.  As difficult as it was to exist in those times, I like to think (as an adult), that I would not allow all of those instances to taint my view of the world as I know it today.  Never to forget how far the world or African-American people have come as a whole, but to view the world for its progress and to hope to impact more positive change.  I saw it possible when I lived overseas.  People loving one another and coexisting as one race.  Not only had I never experienced it, but before I had experienced it I never considered it could be possible.

What is most prevalent now is how we see the world and what we want to make of it.  I believe we are right now people (generally speaking).  We are people who act on, fight for, get emotionally involved in issues of "right now".  What do I consider a "right now" cause?  Well when I speak of a "right now" cause I am referring to those issues, occurrences and/or ideals that have been publicized to evoke a mass emotional response.  The media provides every source of current events and news in the world.  Yet we somehow do not see the contradiction.  The media informs the people of the news, but unless you are conscious of the manipulative nature of the press/news you may not consider the idea that the news shapes your perception/or view of said news.  The media plays on the response of the people watching it (to provoke an emotional response), to yield to more ratings to signify "news worthy" press.  Before the cause was presented via media outlets, did you know what was happening?  Did it concern you what injustice was occurring around the world?  Odds are you had no idea, because it was something that did not interrupt your everyday routine or impact you personally.  But now that you know you feel emotionally empowered to provoke change.  But what happens when it is no longer newsworthy?  We forget and go on to the next "right now" cause.  Its a never ending cycle.

Unfortunately we are not proactive people.  We address things as they are presented to us.  We do not go out and make the difference we want to seek because before it became newsworthy it was not an issue for us.  We assume everything is ok until we believe there is "proof" that it is not.  Or we assume the absolute worst, until there is proof it is not.  I despise the bandwagon causes.  But hey we are in a very free country.  A country we fail to understand how to live in.  A country we fail to exist in peacefully.  While I do believe that injustice and racism is prevalent today, I too believe that how we view the world contributes to the extent of how we view injustice and/or racism.

In efforts to not make this post one million words, I will take a pause and come back to this topic.  I will discuss the views of African Americans and other world leaders whose causes were to fight for justice for all, regardless to race, creed, color, religion, etc.  I can only hope that one day their ideals will be actualized and not just misinterpreted and/or misused to support "right now" causes.  

Media Perception

As a woman, of Indian and African American decent, I am appalled at how easily we (women) all the media to dictate our perception of ourselves.  Not only will we allow status and superficial goals to drive our morality, it is sad that we allow the media to contribute to insecurity.  It prompts me to question how lost are we?  As women of God or as a women in general no matter what race, color or religion, we have allowed man-made ideals to validate our self-worth.  Why?  Easy for me to answer because we can't possibly love ourselves.  We can't possibly know ourselves if we so easily change our perception of ourselves to fit the masses.  Our drive has shifted, our moral and values lost in the ideals presented to us through the media.  We mimic what we are not to validate us.  It is so sad that we are lost.  We need to regain control of our minds.  I wrote a poem about beauty and the perception of beauty and what we should see when we are "Naked".  I have posted the revisited poem below:

NAKED

As your bare
witnessing nude
Naked
you
not nude lips
cheeks and eyes
no make-up can hid
the truth in your eyes
void of mascara
shimmer and shine
your face speaks
the story of blemishes, moles and black eyes
you can no longer hide
Naked
not nude
what thoughts flow through your mind?
what phrases find
The tip of your lips
as voice seeps
You try to keep your insecurities hidden
want to say positive things
But your criticism speaks
of how you hate
firm thighs
love made handles
and breast of any size
you fight back the desire to cry
depressed at how
marks stretched long and wide
share your story
the one you didn't want to tell
cellulite bears the pain
of memories held
and you continue to find the negative in the
frame
that has been with you in this walk of life
You cry
because for the first time you see
yourself
naked...
beauty
in the eyes of the beholder as our predecessors say
should be the driving force behind your desire to be great
morality defines value
and virtue
of a woman God ordained to carry life
and we are the immediate reflection of our past
we are the model for our future
yet man made perceptions taint
what we know as beautiful
so in the absence of the man who does not see
you
the woman of grace
with lack of fear in her eyes
the woman of strength
with lack of jealousy in her heart
the woman of life
with lack of hatred in her spirit
I say to you my sister
my daughter
my mother
and friend
I love you
and we are virtuous women
lover and barer of life
seekers of peace
and conscious minds
in active pursuit to be what God has defined as
femininity

UNIT-Y

For some reason
We identify more with UNIT
Than UNIT-Y
We are making exceptions for goals
To be seen
When the UNIT is to support
Selfish ideology
But
We need
UNIT-Y

Missing the message
Allowing the idea of perfection
To provide misdirection
Where are you headed?

As a UNIT
You seek
Yet do not find
Because ignorance defines
Said goal
To be clueless
To lack understanding
Of the notion of mass control
You allow yourself to be manipulated
As a UNIT
In the absence of UNIT-Y

No hope for the future
We are not where we should be
Fighting one another for the same dream
Same goal
Geed feen
Money
Power
Yields
Chaos
Monstrosity
I hope you see
The UNIT supports
Selfish ideology
But
We
Are in desperate need
Of
UNIT-Y

Sex & Emotions: Truth Speak Series

So in some fairly recent conversations I have discovered that most men feel that women do not have the capability to emotionally detach themselves from sex.  I can only speak for myself, but I can easily separate the difference from love and lust.  Now don't get me wrong, some women only have sex with men they have some sort of a connection with.  Most women are able to differ between having sex and developing an emotional connection via physical relations.  For me, I enjoy having sex with someone I have an emotional connection with, however that does not mean that after we have sex one time I am head over hills in love.  There are several factors that determine whether or not I would consider moving forward with that man.  Truth be told, sex can make or break a connection.  You could have a great intellectual and physical attraction to someone, but if the sex ends up being horrible, even if it begins with a great deal of passion, the situation will more than likely cease to exist.  I know that remains true for me anyway.

That does not go to say that passionate sex will not spark greater feelings and increase desire to look forward with that individual, but making assumptions and generalizations based on ideas of women and our emotional boundaries is wrong.  All women are NOT the same.  Just like all men are NOT the same.  Every man and women looks for certain things in a significant other, if he/she finds that that individual is covering all the bases, quite naturally you wish to continue developing a relationship with that individual.  Now of course we will not like everyone that likes us and visa versa, so that is why I feel that communication is the key.  Some men don't want to admit that they do not feel the same way so instead they lead that person on, or totally cut that person off leaving questions.  I personally prefer someone to be forward with me.  Because I will definitely be forward, completely honest, with the man I am seeing at that time.  On the flip side, some women are only looking for sex or are looking to connect with any man with hopes that he may be the one, others are looking for the honesty from a man and few are detached until they are sure the man they are seeing is completely interested in being in a relationship as well.  Regardless, I can only speak for myself, and I confidently say that this theory that men have regarding women's inability to detach emotions during sex, does not apply to me.  But I want to hear from you....

Today's Topic: How Prejudice Are You??? - TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

So many of us do not like to admit the fact that we do hold some sort of feelings toward the prejudice that still remains.  Some of us fail to admit that we are actually prejudice.  It is quite natural in my opinion to segregate and use misguided opinions (assumptions).

I grew up in an age where I did NOT have to witness segregation, however I did have to learn about it and hear of its affects.  Those lessons in turn fueled a very early opinion regarding the mindset and thought process of caucasian individuals.  Although I do NOT consider myself racist or prejudice, I can not help but admit the pain, frustration and helplessness I feel when I hear about the trials and tribulations of my ancestors.  It sparks up a certain disappointment and rage.  I have the capacity to contain myself and my thoughts.  I have the ability to separate the past from the present, and in that respect I am able to not hold a grudge with individuals based on color alone.

Unfortunately racial bias and discrimination still occur.  Because of this, as an African American, we are sometimes forced to be prepared to handle these situations.  In those preparations we are planting and harboring seeds of the expectation of prejudice.  Some people believe that the capacity to succeed is based on color.  Some people believe that their  own setbacks are based on color.  We have to eliminate the mindset in order to truly eliminate prejudice and discrimination.  No one color is more prominent or more powerful than the other.  No one color has better chances at success than the other.  We have to stop generalizing personal traits and individual moral and standards.  We are making assumptions based on generalizations of a nation of individual people.  We have to stop making assumptions and making assess out of ourselves.   Not only because we are losing innocent lives, but because we are minimizing our own potential.  To live in this world and say that it is VOID of prejudice is ridiculous.  To live in this world and say that you are not prejudice is arguable.

My question to you all is will this ever end?  Will we ever be in a world void of racial discrimination?