To Be Open...

In love nothing is guaranteed, but love is an amazing thing.  Because we are human and flawed creatures we tend to place our frustration with love on everything but ourselves.  Our lack of understanding of love and romance plays a large role in how we perceive love and what we expect out of love.  Love is simple, often complicated by us, so what you seek needs to be simple.  True love is in the eyes of the man/woman you want to change nothing about.  Simple right?  Easier said than done I know.  Love does not encompass a life time of trying to define or change someone.  Your smile, your gaze/stare in love should be from the purest place; an undying attraction because for that individual your attraction was formed in the most genuine place.  NOT LUST.  Genuine, sincere love and attraction for that individual.  We have to be open at all times.  We have to understand that broken hearts are a result of misunderstanding and lack of love.  True love is undying.  And fear does not live in love.  They cannot co-exist.

Open to
facades
like
you are open to new
food
and lust
but love
you shy away from
can't understand the difference
attraction is the same thing
as tranquil vibes
peace defined
simplicity
harmony in the eyes
dances under the moon
and kisses under the stars
with
love
or
lust
can't decifer

yet
not the same thing

so
you guess
because the soul doesn't sing
during lustful thrusts
or tears of distrust

no loyalty

so

love doesn't qualify

yet

the secular defines it as love

so that's what you believe in
that's what your seeking

totally closed off to 

understanding the truth

of love

and it may never find you

because your to lost 

to be open...

UNIT-Y

For some reason
We identify more with UNIT
Than UNIT-Y
We are making exceptions for goals
To be seen
When the UNIT is to support
Selfish ideology
But
We need
UNIT-Y

Missing the message
Allowing the idea of perfection
To provide misdirection
Where are you headed?

As a UNIT
You seek
Yet do not find
Because ignorance defines
Said goal
To be clueless
To lack understanding
Of the notion of mass control
You allow yourself to be manipulated
As a UNIT
In the absence of UNIT-Y

No hope for the future
We are not where we should be
Fighting one another for the same dream
Same goal
Geed feen
Money
Power
Yields
Chaos
Monstrosity
I hope you see
The UNIT supports
Selfish ideology
But
We
Are in desperate need
Of
UNIT-Y

The frustration

Why can't you see 

The beauty that lies deep

Not in the image

You seek to be

But in the mind

The heart

Soul

And spirit of the present being

You...

So few accept the truth

Individualism

The freedoms 

So granted 

Only known to few 

To set yourself apart

To

Showcase you...

Somehow 

You lost sight of the view

The vertical perspective

In hindsight 

You preach individualism

While 

Vision obscure

I seek to find the variance

Between you

She

He

Him

Or her

Same goal

Same dream

Same drive

Superficial examples of love and life 

You find yourself in search of you 

In them

The model

You follow

And you wonder why 

I'm confused 

The Catch Up

When I first began this blog I was heartbroken, confused, lost and unconcerned about my destination. I always sought experience with no set destination.  But questioned who was I to become?  Who was I to love?  How would I let myself love again?  Will I ever experience peace?  Now, as a woman, with a career and inexplicable joy I sincerely appreciate my journey, my pitfalls, my pain,  my smiles etc.  Life has been so good to me and I have truly enjoy sharing it with you through my poems and posts.  It is an amazing thing to be able to reflect on growth.  Diary/Journal entries keep me in constant awe and anticipation for the new.  To set and achieve goals you had only hoped for is an amazing feeling.

As with all of my posts I seek to encourage through my words, giving you my walk on my writer's block.  My words seek to support your pain, joys and journey.  Just in the last three years I opened myself up to some amazing experiences,  without fear I moved across the country and I was enlivened.  I sought refuge in the unknown and I grew spiritually, was healed emotionally and had some of the best experiences of my life.  I was free to love and live and from that experience I have learned that love is to be given to all, without judgment.  I accepted my peace which I found in the bare necessities.  I now can say without a shadow of a doubt that I understand the meaning of life and found peace of mind that is inexplicable.

Not too many people can say they live without fear.  However I walk fearlessly everyday with hope to encourage those around me to seek the true meaning of life and love.  Because when you truly understand your purpose, you know there is nothing and no one that can take that from you.  Even if my legacy is not understood until I leave this earth, my heart will rejoice knowing that my existence will at some point help someone else in their walk of life.  I know that love is to be shared openly with all and has no price.  Love is free.  Love is appreciation of the trees, the simple things and the acceptance of self, flaws and all.  Unfortunately for most of us we will not give ourselves the chance to experience the love and peace that I speak of.  It requires soul searching and humility and quite frankly most of us are seeking goals, paths and journeys that are not our own.  So, my question to you becomes how long will it take you to seek your purpose?

Its been a minute...

It has been a minute since I have allowed anyone to take a stroll.  So much going on emotionally that has me very vulnerable.  If you know me at all you know if hate to be vulnerable so this has been a very difficult time for me.  While working extremely hard and trying to maintain a social life I find it very difficult to keep two people from my mind,  my best friend's mother, who recently passed away from breast cancer, and an old friend.  The process of grieving is one in the same as the process of moving on from a relationship.  What is worse is opening yourself up to greater possibilities and having the door slammed in your face for reasons unknown.  In recent conversations I have been surprised at how open I have been to the fact that I have greatly been impacted by the loss of my best friend's mother.  It was a great loss for me and I typically handle death pretty well, but the woman was so wonderful and had such a profound affect on me.  I miss her more than I can articulate and I wish I could just have one more conversation with her to gain her wisdom.  I am truly truly hurt by this loss.  At the same token I have given the one and only true love of my life away and it has been the hardest to deal with because just recently I realized that I regret my actions.  I regret saying "no" instead of "why now".   I am not one to regret and for that reason alone I think that this year I have been living more than usual, taking risk and living as much as I can.   But as much as I write, speak and encourage others to love I have not loved in a long time.  I want to, my soul longs to but I can't give love to just anyone.  How am I going to get out of this rut?  Only time will tell but expressing this can only help.

For now...

My thoughts...

In conversation with predominately adults (older than myself) I discovered that it is very hard for some to be open minded, and this has no racial specification.  What I have found as I continue to learn and grow mentally, spiritually and emotionally is that wisdom has no age definition.  Because every individual's walk on this earth is different you cannot define someone else's wisdom or lack there of by what you feel they have not experienced.  What I believe is that if some people took the time to look past the physical and allow themselves to learn from people you would be surprised at what life lesson someone can share with you that will encourage you to be better than you were yesterday.  But of course in order to do that you have to be "open minded".  

I too feel, especially as a writer and believer of continual growth and development, that there is no point in labeling someone as an expert.  With expert being defined according to Google as, "a person who has a comprehensive and authoritative knowledge of or skill in a particular area."  I understand that when you are truly passionate about something you learn everything there is to learn and live for that passion everyday, but when you consider the idea of evolution and continual growth and development you are only or can consider yourself an "expert" about a particular item only at a specific point in time.  For that matter it somewhat contradicts the idea of expertise, as the individual knows all/everything there is to know about a particular idea, item, subject etc.  Additionally if you consider the fact that you are human and we base the truth or evidence of things that we "know" to be true we assume at that point that we are "all knowing" which we are not.  And in that case we are not an expert of anything because we only know what we know or what society claims to be true about a particular idea.   

Because we live in such a diverse world and because most of us have not had the pleasure to experience every aspect of this world every minute of every day we are merely making assumptions based on what we know or believe to be true.  And as humans we have to consider the fact that we too are bias.   Bias formed from individualism, culture, tradition, perception, etc.  When we interpret truths based on what research and studies conducted and lead by ourselves that yield data that we interpret ourselves, for that matter we are shaping the ideas we want others to believe we know everything about when in actually two individuals could conduct the same experiment and have two totally different outlooks.  Does this make sense?  I could be beating a dead horse here but I want to encourage people to stop being so closed minded and read, research and think for ourselves.  We don't have to rely on the "experts" to do what we can do for ourselves.   At the same time we have to be open to learning things from others and not close ourselves off to growth and development.  That is the foundation of evolution, aside from diversity.

This message may sound contradictory to some but the point is to learn from others not rely heavily on the ideas of one man to dictate your own ideas and be the basis of what you deem to be true.  

Words of Omission : The Things I Wonder

Words of Omission : The Things I Wonder: What if Malcolm X told jokes And Martin Luther King sold dope The things I wonder What if Rosa Parks was holding on to her seat in the ...

It's not easy

So hard

Taking that first step

Into light

I have been blinded by

Colorless days and nights

Just black

No white

Limited sight 

So hard to see

Now I can breath

Air 

In my dust filled lungs

I have hope of smelling again

Hope of color filled vision again

Because it has not been easy

Denying me

Choosing you 

Blind leading the blind

To darkness

I looked to you 

To lead me

You failed me

You failed we

The family we dreamed of

The love I fought hard for

You didn't show up

It's not easy to love alone

So

From now on

I choose me

The light 

The color of love

Now in sight 

No more loving alone

Because 

It's not easy...

The Greatest Lesson in Life

I learn everyday and I make sure to thank God for clarity.  What I have recently be very adamant about is what we allow ourselves to be exposed to and take in.  In case you didn't know your mind controls and/or plays a large role in your functionality; your actions, perceptions, choices, etc.  What you see and what your mind process as tangible becomes real to you.  With that being said, it is important that we monitor what we take in.  We have to be aware of who and what we listen to.

Although I believe in the motivation to lead and guide and pursue the goal of being a preacher, every individual is not meant to be a pastor, teacher, minister or preacher.  Just because a family member wants to pass on the business does not make you entitled.  Preaching is a God given talent and a calling nonetheless.  Just like my ability to write is God given, I was chosen to use my literature as my medium.  I was called to speak and teach and I never understood my prophesy until now.  Although being a pastor in terms of a congregation is not what I had in mind and doesn't really align with my talent, I have found that my work, my life, my journey and my literature are my story.  They are my lessons  and I use them to speak to the masses and encourage and motivate the world.

I know several people in my life who either should not be preaching or ministering or who judge because they feel that they know God more than another, and want to share the stories of God with out life lesson or testimony.  Although God does not judge we tend to encourage people to seek him by judging how they are not like him or don't participate in church.  At the end of the day, we are imperfect and God sent his son Jesus to die for that very reason and that is why we are not to pass any judgement.  Education and encouragement are the motivation of the church.  But I believe that the real lesson, the real encounter with God comes in the moments of solitude when you know yourself and identify that you want and need to be more like him.  When you welcome him in, that is when you make your connection.  That sparks your desire to seek him and establishes your faith to believe in him.  That is when you seek self improvement and a greater understanding of how to conduct yourself in this world.  And even with this you are not perfect but you strive to be better and I believe that is the greatest lesson in life of all.

Wisdom From My Pen

Only individuals that are incapable of understanding the significance of character and perception will stoop low to assassinate someone's character to get  a rise out of them or get the response they seek.  Put yourself in that individuals' shoes...at the end of the day treat people they way you want to be treated.  I don't make exceptions for those individuals because I am not now and will never be on his/her level.  I am a very straight forward person, very transparent, so people can recognize my truth from someone's lack of maturity and ignorance.  Be wise...don't just believe what you hear.  That in itself is ignorance.