Ignored Truth

You ignore me
The black eye
The bruised side
The dark shades you continue to buy
Yet
You disregard
Busted lips
Cracked ribs
And torn heart
Bleeding love
Seeping trust
Discarding me
Truth
That which you ignore so easily
You do not fret
Nor tear you shed
Immune
And here he comes
Five dozen roses
Gucci bag
Louie shades
And your heart in his hand
Patched up for now
Then it comes back
Heavy as cast iron
You sustain the pain
Fall back into the shadows
Dark in the depths
Devalued
Pride placed in his wallet
Behind the black card
That pays for your silence
Ignored the facts
And again
He tears you down
Fists bring you to shame
So he feels like a man
Just to gain
Submission
Wants to play God
In this instance
And you don't understand
Say it's love
But you ignore
Truth
But for how long

You Lovin' Me

You lovin' me
And my heart belongs
Wrapped in the arms of the man I long
Still
Patiently devoted
But no words will
Move him
So I allow you to love me
In the meantime
You show me every inch of your
Soul
Your heart
Your body explored
And I love you
But in love
Not at all
Yet
You lovin' me
With no truth of commitment
Little passion for future shit
Just the now
You
Buy my mind occupied time
Redirecting thoughts
Placing smiles where
His absence hurts
Mending pain
For now
So I ask you to
Stop
Loving you is neither then or now
I
In love still
Encourage you to gain will
To acknowledge how I feel
To let me be and love for real
Because even if he doesn't come back
Loving you means settle
And both of us don't need regret
So
Stop
Your continuing to love me
Doesn't carve our names in the soul of destiny
But
You lovin' me is fatal
You are killing the desire to love
Once I deny your intention again
You will dwell
Time spends
No rewind
Lost in life again
Still
You lovin' me
Break the cycle
I hate to be
The foundation of the heartbreak that led to inability to love
That's exactly what happened to me
Questions of why and how
Wanted to be everything I could be
But I was
Not good enough
So in love
I suffer
Cause
You lovin' me
I'm loving him
And he lovin' she
Trapped in love
Tangled miserably

Any Way The Wind Blows

You go any way
Right
Left
Forward
Back
Just goin'
Wind blowin'

You make me fear the trail
You lead and I
Stuck here
Making sense of it all

Once was here
Now there
Holding her
Your heart here
Doesn't make sense

Tell me why
You go
Any way the wind blows

The heart shows through your concern
Your smile
Your enegry
Emotion
You let me know
This is where you belong
Here

But
For now you sleep there
You call here
And you yearn more
Because although it was easy
Being blown by the wind
It is harder to fight
Yet
True love always wins

The Power of Confidence

You hide behind the shadow of you

So caught up in the unnatural
Engulfed in the facade of perfection
Can't comprehend
The power that speaks volumes
The quiet in the storm
The illuminated soul
It’s radiant

I see what you are
You see what you want to be
Unleveled
You take time away from self development
To build on the politically correct/socially accepted you
Don’t even know you
Don’t listen to your heart to hear its truth
Quiet now
Peace is still
Take a second to really exhale
What do you see?
Life in reality
Real time
In this I find sincerity
I take pride in me here
It’s home
It allows me to be at peace
Even when I am alone
If you don’t realize the power you hold
You can never convince me
I will never believe you
Let confidence guide
Let your pride ride
Not steer
Humility is accepting the faults
Use them
I speak volumes
My words move mountains
You witness the greatness
You see the light that illuminates
I can’t fake it
The smile is pure and I BELIEVE
I HAVE FAITH
My confidence exudes

No fear
There is no hesitation
It is the acceptance of choice
Don’t take for granted the consequences
Let them teach you
Let the hurt prompt you
Falling is ok
Just remember not to break
You are as great as your greatest thought
Make light of you
Let it drive you

Use the confidence as power
Don’t let it overtake you
Too much of anything can overwhelm you
I am watching
I am waiting
Embrace YOU
I want to share this peace with you

Untitled

The possibilities are infinite
My insecurities fear it
I want you more than I have ever wanted anything
But
If I let down my guard I risk shame

Love has so many expectations
So many rules and regulations
And we don't meet the norm

I could say that it is traditional
But we are so unconventional
And no one understands it
We
Breaking all the rules
Fear the reprecaussions
But when it is pure and true
You can't deny it
I want you

There is nothing better
We make time to be there
You long to rest here
In between my breast
And I find peace
In your lips as the press against
The temple
With all sincerety
You make it harder to rid myself of you
You want it as much as I do

You make it easy
Time makes it impossible
Can we live with this?
I feel God ordained it
But will we be able to sustain

I long to hear your name
And you envision my frame
In future years
All of the signs are here

So
Allow souls to dictate
Or
Fall victim to unconventional mandates?
Heartbreak is at stake
What path should we take?

Brand new...

I am feeling like fresh white sneaks
Leaving squeaks until they get use to the crease
I am
Giving you the feeling of first time excitement
I am so speechless
Silence speaks

You got me, feeling love in undefined places
Its like the brand new feelings
As we share butterfly kisses
Leaving the taste of love
Creeping up in the stranges places
And I need to grasp it
The love handle that tickles
The smiles that teases
And then its time to release

Those new sheets have to get old sometime
That clean car gets duty afterwhile
And that shine goes dull in the meantime
But
Everytime our eyes meet
Our souls speak
And it feels like the very first time
And I get weak
In all the undefined places
I get
Brand new feelings
And the cycle is never ending

I Want To Empty It...

I am going through the motions because everyday feels like the day something great is going to happen.  I am living everyday with the same passion and drive I had for the day before.  I love knowing that I get one more chance to make this blog more interesting, to add more chapters to my novel, work in progress, to add more depth to my life, to add more color to my story. 

My mental journal is full so I try to empty it every now and then.  Either on this blog or on the pages of the lines that contribute to my life story.  And it doesn't matter if it is in verse, stanzas or phrases and paragraphs; it's all the same. 

So
I want to empty it today
Clear my head
I need new brain space
New open place
For it to form
I want to bless this page with text that creates
And contributes to
My memory

I want to free myself of past relations
Free my mind of hesistation
To allow greatness unfold
I want to free myself from the strong hold of perfection
Not to escape it though
As a Virgo I am destined

I want to make the time here infinitive
I want to add color here through experience
Experimenting with opposition
Learning from doing what I shouldn't
Provides me with more to write

I tell all as I let him in
I wrote my love letter to passion
And he fell through the crack
Broke down the wall from the outside in
He is so strong
So much courage he holds
And I am more in love

As the days turn
I learn
I crave nights of thoughts
Days of hugs
And afternoon love
He gives me
All that I can not write
All the emotion I tell not
I keep secrets now that he is here
He holds my truth
And he holds it well
Right in arch of his back
The touch of his hand
The smiles not fought back
The heart left hurt
But I mend that
In the way the man speaks my name
He holds no shame in knowing
He knows all
In all that the man is
He holds me down

There is no amount of fame
Nor money the same
Can measure up

He is truth
He is my secret to
Life
And I want to empty it
May it touch you

Something New

Like 15 year olds we
Pursue late nights
Heart to ear conversations
All with hope
Hope that it lasts forever

No spats
All in agreeance
For the moment we
Appreciate the likeness
For it will end soon
The smiles will merge into frowns as we find
We are not
Perfection is a distant memory
Love not lost
But hurt in the eyes
Lost
Because we got caught up in the begining stages
We neglected the signs
Signs that the intensity of the ride will cease
Signs that direct our minds to prepare our hearts for now

We neglected to accept truth
So now we seek
Something new

Secrets

Just like white lies


They surface

And once in awhile

They are mine



I try to control them

Deep within

That which you do not need to know

For what

To use against me

To manipulate me

In case you are unaware

There are no puppets here

No strings tied to my back

I talk on my own here

This life I live

I drive alone

So I keep secrets

To keep you close

And him closer



She who scowled at my rings

The designer brands

And finer things

Kiss my ass

It's free

They come and go

Just like air

Like life

And the lies you keep in circulation

You won't get ahold to these

Secrets



They encompass my pride

The success that I hide

Modesty

It's attractive

I

Humble

Every moment is precious



To know all

Is to know to much

Human is greed

We don't need that much

Redirect your focus

Steer clear of me

Don't be road blocks

Encounter clarity

Everything is short

Even memory

Passion

Missing now
The way you kissed the soul
How unexpectedley you broke the mold
Missing now the sound of pen strokes
Crumpled sheets
And creases
As the page turns
My absence from you drives me crazy
He moves me
But you inspire

Can not recall all the countless hours
The support
For all the tears that stained
Have you really gained
Not I
Still get butterflies
Eye smiles
Curled toes
The passion unfolds
As the pages divide

Wanting more now
Clean sheets
Soft skin
The sound it makes when they meet
Purity

You long to meet me there
In between the....

Destined for....
That's it
Happiness