Unfortunately secrets will eat at you. In the past, I admit that I am very much so guilty of encouraging someone else and myself to keep a secret. Unfortunately keeping secrets does not ensure happiness. Withholding truths eats at your conscious. We all have the capacity to determine what is right from wrong. We all know that telling the truth is better than lying however I find that more so as an adult we shy away from the truth in relationships. And that is any kind of relationship.
I happen to believe in honesty. I have developed a mindset where I encourage everyone I am in a relationship with, whether it be friendship, sibling, mother-daughter, father-daughter, romantic, etc. to be honest in everything. If you believe that knowing the truth is more beneficial than knowing a lie than you empower yourself to set an expectation of honesty. And I stand for nothing less.
I have not always be as forthcoming and even if I am not initially at some point I will voice my concerns, opinions and/or feelings and ask people to take my truth for what it is. I understand too that sometimes we make judgements on how critical information may be. But we do not fully understand the importance of specific facts to another individual. For some the smallest things are very irritable and for some the more larger issues and critical. And that could too be dependent upon the situation. It is not our role to dictate what will or will not be important to someone else, but it is our role to stay true to ourselves. It is our responsibility to make sure that we bestow the same respect and expectations on someone that we wish to receive.
I want to share a secret of my own:
So when I was sixteen years old I was molested. I remember immediately feeling helpless, trapped and scared. I feared for my own safety. I feared that the next step would ultimately be rape. I was so scared all I could do was pray. For me the first time I ever shared this secret was too a bunch of strangers. I found that it was easier to express because no one really knew me. No one could make any connections as to who I was talking about. It was also approximately 4 years after it occurred. So imagine keeping that secret, the emotions, etc. bottled up for four years and trying to live without hate and frustration. Even with this incident I managed to not hate every man on the face of the earth. I managed to still know when and how to trust. I believe that my strength came from God. I chose to forgive.
I pose a couple of questions to you:
How many of you deem withholding infidelity from a partner ok (whether married or unmarried) if he or she does not find out? Why or Why not?
How many of you are dealing with secrets that are tearing you up inside? Will you ever tell? Why or Why not?
I happen to believe in honesty. I have developed a mindset where I encourage everyone I am in a relationship with, whether it be friendship, sibling, mother-daughter, father-daughter, romantic, etc. to be honest in everything. If you believe that knowing the truth is more beneficial than knowing a lie than you empower yourself to set an expectation of honesty. And I stand for nothing less.
I have not always be as forthcoming and even if I am not initially at some point I will voice my concerns, opinions and/or feelings and ask people to take my truth for what it is. I understand too that sometimes we make judgements on how critical information may be. But we do not fully understand the importance of specific facts to another individual. For some the smallest things are very irritable and for some the more larger issues and critical. And that could too be dependent upon the situation. It is not our role to dictate what will or will not be important to someone else, but it is our role to stay true to ourselves. It is our responsibility to make sure that we bestow the same respect and expectations on someone that we wish to receive.
I want to share a secret of my own:
So when I was sixteen years old I was molested. I remember immediately feeling helpless, trapped and scared. I feared for my own safety. I feared that the next step would ultimately be rape. I was so scared all I could do was pray. For me the first time I ever shared this secret was too a bunch of strangers. I found that it was easier to express because no one really knew me. No one could make any connections as to who I was talking about. It was also approximately 4 years after it occurred. So imagine keeping that secret, the emotions, etc. bottled up for four years and trying to live without hate and frustration. Even with this incident I managed to not hate every man on the face of the earth. I managed to still know when and how to trust. I believe that my strength came from God. I chose to forgive.
I pose a couple of questions to you:
How many of you deem withholding infidelity from a partner ok (whether married or unmarried) if he or she does not find out? Why or Why not?
How many of you are dealing with secrets that are tearing you up inside? Will you ever tell? Why or Why not?
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