Learning VS Memorizing: TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

I can't understand those who confuse attendance in church with a relationship with God. It is the same as confusing memorization with learning. Memorizing biblical scriptures doesn't mean that you have learned and/or are applying the scripture to your life. So just because you attend church, doesn't mean you have a relationship with God. Stop beating people over the head with scripture when you don't even apply it to your own life! I know I have said this before (in a different way) but I continue to see it on my timeline, or when I tell people the last time I went to church they look at me like I should be behind bars! But you have more faith in your preacher or "people" than you do in God. I not now nor will I ever take credit for my stregnth. I am strong because my faith is strong, therefore I can do all things! Battles are a test of that faith. I have never lost a battle nor have I fell victim to something I know is not of God.

In case you were wondering, I grew up in church. From my attendance I gained the tools I needed to establish my OWN relationship with GOD. And I did just that. I will never allude to being anything I am not. And I walk in MY PURPOSE everyday. Everyone has a different purpose and walk in this life, so stop assuming if someone else's actions don't match your own or what you "think" it should be that it is NOT RIGHT.  You are NOT RIGHT for focusing on anything else but YOURSELF.  Be accountable for you and no one else. Love your neighbor like you love social media. Stop hating on and antagonizing people and be motivated to support and love like you "get money". Check your focus! Because all of those who really want to affect change start with themselves! Be the example not just a critic.  

Someone can be categorized as ignorant but taught to read and write; at that point they are no longer ignorant. To often we validate stereotypes but hate to be stereotyped. Stop desiring to "look" better instead of actually "being" better. Learn to make a change instead of memorizing/mimicking behavior that makes you "look" the part.

Gettin' Money.... TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

The motivation of just about every one seems to be that of "gettin' money"; a phrase that has been in circulation for as long I can remember.  Hearing the phrase as an adult I begin noticing that everyone was actualizing its intent.  And I shuttered to believe the idea that money would be the sole motivation for so many.

In life, especially when we have less, we don't realize that money does NOT equate to happiness.  While it makes some circumstances bearable or better it does not and will never equate to happiness.  I hear people mock this notion all the time.  Because their thoughts have not evolved, they are stuck on the idea of what we believe money represents and not what the money isn't capable of doing.  Not realizing that just because money eases stress and redirects focus it doesn't mean your happy, just means that now your focused on something else.  And this is why I find a lot of people "with money" or "gettin" money" hardly sustain wealth.  Their focus is on short term goals or gain or status versus actual wealth.  You can see the difference in those motivated by money vs those motivated by success.  Most people who are motivated by success, consider wealth.  They explore the immediate and long term goals of money.  Yet, it seems that for most the concern is more of the illusion of money and status.  For example, think about all those people in clubs popping bottles and their rent is not yet paid.  OR those buying luxury/designer bags, purses, etc. and children have not been fed or they live in poverty.  Or even those who drive luxury vehicles and but working at a job making at or less than 50K per year, with $2 in the bank!  But if you see them out you would think they had it all together, when in fact THEY DO NOT.  They are more concerned with what they look like, than what they actually have.  There is a sense of pride they are in search of and/or a sense of validation from people they don't know.

In recent news, Soulja Boy has been highlighted as repeatedly saying he is worth 20 or so million and is worried about gettin' money, but he comments that he doesn't "brag" about what he has.  Hearing this I asked myself why is money that much of a concern.  As someone who grew up with what I like to call the "best of both worlds", spending much of my childhood and pre-teen in mid to lower class and my teen and adult years in mid-high class, I saw what life was like with barely enough and with more than enough resources to sustain.  When you grow up "without" or "disadvantaged", when you have an opportunity to have a different life or a "better" life, your idea of better is more or less everything you did not have.  Which is not always best.  Spending all your money on clothes just because "you can" is poor logic.  It seems to be the logic of more African Americans, and what I believe will ultimately be our demise.

Have you ever paid attention to the fact that most CEOs, doctors, lawyers or executives drive cash cars every day, wear regular clothes, etc. and are virtually undetectable as someone "wealthy" or "rich"?  Meanwhile, people with $2 in the bank or living paycheck to paycheck, look like they have millions.  Ironic right?  I would say so. Wealth is maintained by frugality, investing vs spending and giving.   Money should be a benefit not motivation.  You would think that those who never had money would be more careful and appreciate it more, because just as fast as it comes, it goes, but that's most often NOT the case.  Money fuels selfishness.  Selfish people are never satisfied or happy.  They always want more.

When I think about happiness and motivation, I asked myself a question, "Would you rather be happy/peace of mind and broke or rich and unhappy/not a peace?".  For me the answer is simple, I would rather be happy, with a peace of mind and broke, than rich and unhappy. Peace and happiness are my motivation, in everything that I do, I seek peace. Nothing is better than a peace of mind to me. And true happiness can't be bought.  I see unhappiness every day, in people who try to "reinvent" themselves for acceptance with plastic surgeries.  When you are focused and motivated by the wrong things it's hard to appreciate little things.  That is why you see people who are stripped of their possessions/money who kill themselves.   Those can't see the value in life without money!  That is what happens when your motivated by money.  You can't appreciate life.  Money should never be motivation, but a benefit in life.  People who are motivated by money have deeper rooted fears, issues, etc.  Those fears allow them to be motivated by money, but until they are able to address those fears and learn to appreciate life, they will understand how to live in this world.  They will merely EXIST in it.

#iCantbreathe

So I typically refrain from posting literary reactions to certain situations until I am properly informed.  While I appreciate the immediate emotional reaction of the country to recent current events, as an African American women, who may one day be a mother of an African American male, it frightens me to know that some of us are only down for the cause for now...And the rest of us will never be down for the cause unless it hits us right in the face.  So what do you do?  And that is the question that has been baffling me for days.  Solution unknown...

I have great pain in my heart and tears pour from my spirit for the individuals who have lost and will continue to lose loved ones to senseless acts and abuse of power.  The pain of loss in the families of Eric Garner, Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin and a host of others not televised is something they will have to endure for a lifetime.  And for them, and potentially for me #icantbreathe.  I ask God to order my steps and give me insight to how I should assist in any way with developing a solution for a remedy for the misconception and misunderstanding of the message, and while it is true there is no peace where there is injustice, the flaws of the legal system are at the fault of the nation for not taking the freedom to vote and educate ourselves seriously.  We are the change that we seek, but we have to be about the change more than just in death situations.  We have to want to build the foundation for justice in our individual goals and dreams.  Too often we get a glimpse of one side of what life is like in the eyes of the celebrities we deem "iconic" and exhaust ourselves modeling our efforts on trying to be at the top and look down.  Inferiority is a state we impose on ourselves.  Inferiority is a state that we have control of eliminating.

I can't breathe
For the lives loss to injustice
For the peril sustained

No peace 

Yet we seek

Uniformity

Protest

When progress 

Is held in the actions of us

The fight for communal growth

Prosperity
We are the key 

We 

Us

You

Me 

And until we understand 

Our actions effect everyone

Or someone 

At given points in time 

We won't 

Get the message 

So for you 

For them 

And for me 

I can't breathe 

Until consciousness dwells

In the hearts and minds 

Of the individuals injustice finds 

And the goal 

Is universal 

People 

Who recognize the power 

To change

Encourages 

Justice

For us 

One day

What happened to the Innocent?... TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

I fear that children are being robbed of their innocence everyday, so I seek to explore explanations that could explain the why and maybe encourage change.

Everyday our children are playing reckless video games, flipping through channels and catching glimpses of or watching light pornography (on commercials and television shows) and/or overhearing adult conversations; yet, we expect that they are "unaware" or "don't know" anything!  Yet, we don't realize that we are implanting questions for children to seek answers to.  So children Goggle searches encompass looking for answers to things that we have shown them, but that we dare not explain because we feel like they are "unaware" or "it isn't time" for them to know.   So the question then becomes why are we so unaware of the fact that we are robbing them of their innocence by assuming we can show them things and not explain?

Is it that we are so disconnected, allowing our children to be raised by television or the internet, that we don't realize that keeping them innocent means moderating what they absorb.  Being aware of what we put in their faces.  Being mindful and open to moderating the answers to the questions in their minds.  Not occupying them with trash so that we can get some "free time"!  Unfortunately we assume that when we give children an iPad, laptop or iPhone that they will not explore it.  These devices come with parental controls for a reason.  We have to stop assuming our children won't find the answers we won't give them.

When something new is brought to our attention most often we seek to gain greater understanding.   As parents, we can not assume that our children will remain innocent even when being presented with  new questions and tools to help research those questions.  Parents seem to be less involved, or unconcerned, meaning children turn to the internet and television for answers.  When they see or hear the word kiss, the children of this generation will naturally "Google" it to figure out what it is.  Just think of how many questions our children encounter each day, with consideration to the total number of hours children, nieces, nephews or grandchildren watch television or surf the web.  Consider the notion that if your not answering those questions, who is?

Times have truly changed.  I remember as a child I spent my time playing games outside, swimming, roller skating, playing tennis or watching movies (approved and purchased by my parents).  I got electronics at the age of 11 or 12 but before that, I was more active than not.  I truly had no questions regarding sex until I was exposed to it.  I had no questions regarding sexuality because I was never confronted with it.  Now I was also an explorer and an inquisitive child.  But most of the time I spent taking things apart, trying to figure out what's inside, or how it works. Surprising that I wasn't an Engineer because that is what intrigued me most.  But I also didn't have the world wide web readily available at that time.  And I'm certain most of these children wouldn't know how to find their way around a library if you held their hand.  Or do any type of "real research" that doesn't involve a computer.

When we know all of this, the question becomes why are we ignoring it.  Why are we allowing ourselves to operate under the notion that we are NOT to blame for the lack of innocence in our children?  We can't place blame on one individual, as it has to be a collective change.  Even though my parents tried hard to preserve my innocence there were certain things I was exposed to, too early that were imposed on me.  As a child I mimicked what I was told or shown; and unfortunately that is a part of my past that I can not erase.  But I have made a decision to accept my circumstances and try to break the chains of miseducation and individuals exposing children to things too soon.

Euphony

Probably hard for me to put it in words....

Euphony
What I hear in absolute silence
Innocent laughs
Free smiles
Harmony
The wind blowing through the trees
Utopia

Hood Love... TRUTH SPEAK SERIES

A little short story to help illustrate the idea behind this post's message.

He stood out on the corner from 4 pm until 6 am everyday.  He attended to his block.  He made sure no one interrupted his business.  He was the man for 14 hours.  The hood feared him for 14 hours.  His feens worshipped him for 14 hours.  His competitors hated him for 14 hours.  He stood on guard for 14 hours.  Minding his business but watching his back, alone.  Had more than he needed, but greed fed his determination.  So day in and day out, he found what he thought was love in a hopeless place.  He found levels to life in a new space.  He lost himself a little bit every day.  Because he didn't know what he was searching for in the first place... 

by: AudriWrites

*****

Hood love is what it implies, love obtained from the hood.  Love itself is such a powerful emotion that it builds bonds that can withstand a lifetime.  Bonds like no other.  When you grow up disadvantaged or lacking love, you tend to flock to whatever makes you feel like it loves you in return.  Even when you don't even know what "love" is.  Without knowledge of what "love is" it is easily misinterpreted and misappropriated.

Men, women and children who live and die for or in the streets of his/her hood, do so because that is the only place they ever felt what they perceived to be love.  But what type of love is it that they think they've gained?  When your naive you think that your "brothers" and "sisters" who understand what you lack, know how to love you.  How could they possibly know how to love you, when they have never been loved and/or don't understand what love is?  One must be able to understand it, in order to recognize it.  If you truly understood what love was, you would know that "hood love" is selfish love.  Hood love looks out for your best interest, only when your best interest coincides with it's own.    So who is really looking out for you?

Love, I have defined several times, but, in short it is an unconditional gesture of faith, adoration, honesty and humility that brings peace.  Anything that requires you to be unsettled (continuously on guard), unsafe or idolized possesses no love.  Love doesn't allow you to play on the weak for personal gain.  If you loved your hood, you wouldn't contribute to its demise.  If you loved your hood you would not place the crack, in the mouths of the people who you "love" or who "love" you.  You wouldn't stifle your community.  If you knew what love was you would not allow yourself to turn the other cheek or to be so gullible.  So blinded by the what's right in front of you.  You wouldn't ignore your moral compass and you would do "right" and seek to understand love.

So, now that you understand that "hood love" is a term that is conveniently used to describe individuals who have lost their way.  Individuals who do not claim ownership of their contribution in the demise of their people.  And individuals who seek personal gain at all costs.   You know now that the hood never loved you.  That is an irrational thought implanted by more of those who misunderstand, misinterpret and misappropriate love.   So, I encourage you to be the change.  Stand for the community.  Learn to love the way love was meant to be, unselfishly.

History Pt. 2 Racism & the "Right Now"

I want to make sure I acknowledge those who take activism seriously.  I always appreciate passionate individuals who live fighting for what they believe the world should be.  I often wonder because most activist focus on things they want to change, if they get caught up in all that is wrong and have a hard time acknowledging how far we have come?  I don't believe acknowledging progress takes away from the cause, but I think acknowledging progress allows you to be able to take pride in the impact of your work.  I see stories every day of people doing great things for other people (regardless of race), but sometimes we get caught in generalizing behavior that it forces us to look at the world in the wrong way.

So ask yourself the following question: Is every "white" person in the US racist?

For me it is all about perception.  We are individuals.  PERIOD.  We generalize behavior but we can not say with extreme certainty that everyone of a certain race is racist.   My ancestors paved the way for forward thinking, acceptance and love in spite of transgression and discrimination and  showed unbreakable strength, courage and determination.  White ancestors proved to be an example of what NOT to believe or how not to treat others in the name of God.   Essentially lessons of what NOT to do.  While my ancestors were an example of who to be in spite of oppression.  I walk proud knowing how far we have come.  I am sure some of my "white" peers do the same.  Those who have no motivation to hate or oppress because of the simple fact that it is morally wrong.  I walk around assuming everyone is good, until they prove otherwise.  Call me naive all day, but I don't believe in assuming the worst of people until they do something to make believe otherwise or discernment kicks in.  I do believe that some people get so focused on their goal and the passion of fighting for injustice, that its quite often all they see.  And unfortunately negative views are often misconstrued.

There have been several incidents in the news publicized to get us focused on the abuse of power of police officers.  And I am one who believes there are definitely issues with officers abuse of power, my concern, however, is that officers' abuse of power has been going on for years, yet we are seeking justice for it now...  What happened to all the other individuals who died at the hands of injustice that were not publicized for us?  What happened to all of those who died at the hands of unjust law/officers right in front of us?  We are active now though...  We are pro CHANGE now, but what's the motivation?  Is it really that we have had enough?  If that is the case shouldn't we have had enough of killing one another?

CHANGE and FIGHT should have started from the beginning.  No one ever deserves to die unjustly.  Had we been actively watching these stories in the media, gathering data by tracking the statistics and taking action by advocating for all families involved and/or using each situations as a foundation of change (one state at a time), we would be more optimistic.  The future wouldn't seem so dim.

While I advocate for the families of those individuals we have loss due to this type of violence and I support the movement of "all lives" matter (which encompasses "black lives"), I can not understand why all of a sudden the news decision to feature repeatedly feature these stories acts as a motivator.  We should have already been motivated to take action/take a stand on this issue.  While it can be argued that the media may have had it's own agenda, I would like to think they were trying to get an organic view of the true frustration of the families and people impacted by injustice.

So when all is said and done and (thinking forward) when action is taken to revamp the assessment of officers and deputies of the law, what next issue will we be presented?  What other "right now" cause will gain our interest?  Will racism still be as prominent?  Nothing is certain, but I do believe that if we gave self-awareness and accountability the same consideration, attention and action as we do these "right now" causes, the world just may be a better place.

The Miseducation of America

Million dollar question:  Why is it that most schools are ranking students abilities by assessment tests that are composed with one particular ideal student (for a particular grade) in mind, when children in schools learn on different levels?  I find it incredibly odd that the same schools that I once learned in, are now not so focused on the education of its students, but more so the student's ability to test.

I remember when I was a student (and this was as early as Kindergarten for me) that I was identified as a "Gifted and Talented" student (not sure what they are calling it now a days).  Because teachers were able to identify me as a student, who was quite frankly learning at a faster level than most students, they were similarly able to identify students learning a level below average.  At that time teachers had children learning at three different levels.  I remember as a child that I had taken two tests, one the same as the test all students took, and another to identify the scholastic aptitude of students learning at a higher level.  It seemed fair in my opinion.  Although I did meet and exceed the expectations of learning, I did not feel that my education was stifled nor was that of any of my classmates.  I say that because teachers then managed to teach students on varying levels and help them achieve or exceed the scholastic goal of the school they attended.

Fast forward to present day...I believe (and based on first hand testimonies from educators I know) that schools are currently teaching students a test and it has no true educational value.  I believe this to be true because one of the first things I learned in my Masters of Psychology program is that there is a great difference between memorization and learning.  Learning is the ability to take information and regurgitate it in a way that is applicable to his/her own life, or make it relatable; that which signifies understanding.  Memorizing is simply that, relying on the function of one's memory to recall information...not actually learning the information.  Unfortunately we are forcing our children to memorize instead of learn.

Something else to note is the lack of parent involvement in his/her child's education, and the teachers lack of passion for teaching.  There are several reasons I could provide that would explain the lack of moral amongst teachers, but quite frankly not too much I can say regarding lack of parent involvement in his/her child's educational success.   The more you see things like this happening, the more you wish we stopped arguing about women's right to choose (regarding abortion).  Totally different subject for another time, but I say that to get you to think about how important it is for a parent to desire and love his/her child.  And most of our children in schools lack that love.  Our students are mistreated, not loved and miseducated.  And the more I live, the more I see their education is not being valued.

There once was a point at which educaction was your resume, now I understand why employers are seeking more "hands on experience" to signify learning.  The amount of technology consumed by the current generation far outweighs the number of library cards or physical research encountered at any level prior to a collegiate level.  Middle & high school instructors are allowing students to research on computers before teaching them to research in a library, like it once was.  The library is now a "backup" or a go to for those students who do not have the capacity to access the internet.

Unfortunately I could be on this soap box for months, but I will leave you with this...the perception of education has ultimately been reduced.   Consider where education stood and what education has evolved to...Until it is valued in the eyes of the STATE, we will remain, and the future of our children's education will ultimately be in our hands.

#MotiVatioNWeDnesdaY

(Originally posted 7/25/12 on Poetically Speaking)

So I wanted give some motivation today.  My motivation comes in the form of rational thinking and tough love.  So I have a few questions...

When you woke up this morning how did you feel?

What did you expect from your day?

What is the situation you need motivation out of?

What do you need motivation to do?

Why are you not motivated?

If you have answered one or more of these questions, I would like to suggest that you change your outlook.  Don't look for motivation, instead focus on the need.  Not sure what I mean...well take these examples.  Think about how you feel versus how you need to feel.  What you expect versus what you need to expect.  Where you are versus where you need to be, etc.  Sometimes we allow ourselves to get caught up in the lack of motivation versus what we need.  You will find that focusing on the need will channel your motivation.  It will eliminate the questions.  Some people think of what they need to do and think they need motivation when they need to simply understand the NEED for what they are doing.  That need serves as the purpose/reason.  The need serves as the motivating factor.

Motivation by definition is the act or an instance of motivating,  or providing with a reason to act in a certain way  (2) the state or condition of being motivated   (3) something that motivates;  inducement; incentive (dictionary.com).  

With that being said we should stop allowing people and things to motivate things that we may not need.  Only you know what you need.  You know where you want to be and what your expectations are.   Stop being lazy and codependent and think about you needs.  I don't understand how so many people want to put off their current state on someone else.  Never taking the fault for why they are in the positions their in.  It is understandable that we do not have control over all circumstances, but we do have the capability to make choices.  Our choices contribute to the circumstances as well.  So instead of sulking or being lazy trying to place blame, take responsibility for your choices.  If you aren't where you want to be you need to make new decisions.  What do you need to do to get to where you want to be?  Allow that to be your motivation.  Let me know what happens!  

One Love,

Audreyanna

Cut Off (Revisited 11/11/15)

(Originally Posted 4/6/15 on Poetically Speaking)

Sometimes we have to be careful of what we ask for.  In life, respect is a concept so often misused/misunderstood.  You should not demand respect from individuals you show no respect to.  This negatively impacts the natural order of things.  Respect is given and received.  Notice that "to give" comes before receiving.  I try very hard to show respect in spite of adversity.  No matter how stubborn, childish and immature someone was.  The desire to continue  to show respect to those who may not understand that quality, was fueled by love, nothing more or less.  Love is patient and kind, all those I exhibit, especially when it was not easy for me to do so.   Now, I have found a solution for those individuals who take my love and respect for granted.  I have given enough without being heard and respected.  My solution: Edit your life!   Cut those people who mean you no good off.  That doesn't mean be angry, sad or feel any type of pain from the loss, it just means you are wise enough to know what you deserve.  Be wise enough to make the decision to eliminate the factor that will do you harm.

As children one of the things we wanted most was to be an adult.  We craved the responsibility and the freedom, but we did not know the extent of the responsibility one receives with that freedom.  Now as an adult we see that sometimes it is too much to manage.  Too many choices and not enough right answers.  How do we ensure that we are making the right decisions? We have no affirmation most of the time.  We base what we know to be right and wrong on cultural standards and religious precedents.  We do what we feel is right.  Often times leaning on the notion "do unto others as you would have them do unto you".  But are you really?  Are you treating people with respect and doing all those things that you would want someone to do to you?  That is the question of which adults responses are most often contradictory.

What is certain is that in this life I want to make sure to experience and acquire every ounce of love, happiness and valuable lessons I can.  With that comes dealing with people who lack understanding of your purpose.  You come into contact with people whose ideals do not align with your goals and we have to make decisions to separate ourselves from those people.  Love from a distance.  Cut them off if you will.  But not with any ill intention or negative emotion.  I find that I try my best to establish an emotional balance before I take such measures.  What I have recently discovered is that no matter how good or positive your intentions are, if the other person is not willing to see "the good" it will not be seen.  What I am trying to figure out now is how to deal with that reality...